<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>chasing after our ends by stormss</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254575">chasing after our ends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss'>stormss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e03 Hold The Line, Friendship, Gen, Mentioned Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Mentioned Grace Ryder/Judd Ryder, Missing Scene</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 12:07:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,658</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29254575</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormss/pseuds/stormss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos accepts the cup of coffee she holds out to him, taking in the tired look in Grace's eyes, the tense line of her shoulders. It suddenly hits him that this woman might be the only person on the planet that understands exactly what he's going through, and she gives him a knowing look as she says, "I thought you might like some company." </p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Or, during the events of 2x03, Carlos and Grace deepen their friendship.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes &amp; Grace Ryder (9-1-1 Lone Star)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>103</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>9-1-1 Lone Star ▶ Carlos Reyes / Tyler Kennedy "TK" Strand</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>chasing after our ends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i'm still reeling over the crossover but i missed my loves grace and carlos too much not to write something about what they might've been up to! the title comes from <em>moon river,</em> specifically the frank ocean cover!</p>
<p>my <a href="https://reyesstrand.tumblr.com/">tumblr!</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the fifth day in a row, Carlos leaves work feeling aimless. </p>
<p>Ever since news broke of the steadily spreading wildfires in San Angelo, sparking the need for a response team from Austin that consisted of pretty much everyone he knew, his life's consisted of just...going through the motions. He goes for late-night runs—a habit that he used to quell stress when he'd first started his job—and he picks up extra shifts to keep his mind occupied. Carlos knows it isn't exactly the healthiest thing, the way he works until he's barely able to keep his eyes open and getting only a few restless hours of sleep before doing it all over again, but it's all he has to keep himself worrying. </p>
<p>Because he knows the moment he starts focusing on the <em>what ifs </em>running through his mind, he won't stop until he's frayed at the seams. </p>
<p>The sky's streaked orange-tinted pink with dawn, and Carlos takes a moment to rub at the knots of tension in his neck before strolling over to his car. He stifles a yawn once he settles behind the wheel, opting to drive home in silence instead of pointedly skipping through radio stations providing updates on the wildfires. He knows that TK has a good head on his shoulders and a heart dedicated to saving people, but his boyfriend also has a reckless streak that he's had a front-row seat to far too many times. And even though he knows he's surrounded by family, it's a damn <em>wildfire </em>they're battling, <em>three hours </em>away; things go wrong all the time. It's enough to stress him out to the ends of the earth, especially since he's stuck at home with no way to help. </p>
<p>His shower's calling his name when he gets home, and by the time he's changed, his mood lifts a bit when he sees the notification on his phone. </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>guess who gets to do grunt work all day? </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Carlos smirks down at the photo TK's sent with the text, of himself and Mateo in their dirty, yellow brush-shirts with shovels cocked over their shoulders. His heart hurts a little, seeing how tired his boyfriend looks, but it's nice to just see him. </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong> <em>i hear hard work builds character. </em> </strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>He slips his phone back in his pocket as he roams around his room, hoisting up his hamper and heading for the washing machine. Then, he declutters around his condo, finding that his restlessness has him cleaning even when it doesn't need to be done. It's the mindless work he needs, the perfect distraction, but in the end he's only able to kill twenty minutes with his cleaning attempts. Eventually, he flops onto the couch with the TV remote in hand. </p>
<p>As he turns it on, he finds that he isn't surprised to see the local news broadcasting an update on the fire. He catches a glimpse of yellow skies and heavy smoke, various numbers and stats rolling across the bottom of the screen, and he clenches his jaw before flipping to some random morning talk show. With TK still on his mind, he grabs his phone and adds to the text thread: </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em><strong>stay safe, ty. </strong> </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>He's just pressing send when he hears a knock at his front door. </p>
<p>Carlos frowns as he gets to his feet, glancing down at reply he gets from TK—<em>i miss you too,</em> because apparently his boyfriend can read him even through texts—before shoving his phone away. He gets to the door and opens it, only slightly surprised to come face-to-face with Grace. </p>
<p>She's still in her dispatcher uniform, holding two cups of coffee from the café around the corner from his place, smile bright as always. </p>
<p>"Grace, hey," he says, after stammering for a moment, opening the door wider. </p>
<p>Carlos accepts the cup of coffee she holds out to him, taking in the tired look in Grace's eyes, the tense line of her shoulders. It suddenly hits him that this woman might be the only person on the planet that understands exactly what he's going through, and she gives him a knowing look as she says, "I thought you might like some company." </p>
<p>"Well, you're right, as always," Carlos says, and she rolls her eyes playfully. He looks out over her shoulder at the calm morning, and gestures vaguely to the road. "Wanna go for a walk?" </p>
<p>Grace nods, and he grabs his keys to lock up behind him before he follows her out to the sidewalk. </p>
<p>They walk in companionable silence for a few moments, the only people out at this hour besides the loyal dog-walkers and the occasional jogger. The sun slowly makes its way higher in the sky, obstructed by thick clouds, and Carlos focuses on the way the coffee warms his hands, and the way Grace seems to bring with her a comforting presence even when there are no words to be said. Finally, they make it to the park a block away from his place; the playground is roped off, though there are still some benches along the perimeter left open for use. Carlos stretches his legs out when they sit, watching the sunlight fight to break through some of the golden foliage at the tops of the trees. </p>
<p>Finally, she nudges her shoulder against his. "How are you holding up?" </p>
<p>"I'm—I'm fine," Carlos says, turning to face her. She gives him a disbelieving look, and Carlos sighs. "It's terrible." </p>
<p>"I know," Grace replies, crossing one leg over the other. "Trust me, sweetheart, I know. I thought of going home after my shift but just...had to keep myself busy." </p>
<p>He nods, understanding all too well. A moment or two of comfortable silence passes, before he finally speaks his mind. </p>
<p>"How do you handle it?" Carlos asks, surprised by the quietness of his own voice. </p>
<p>Grace cocks her head to the side, seeming to consider it for a moment before speaking again. "You keep yourself moving. You keep yourself afloat, because Lord knows if we can't be there physically for them, they'll need us to be stable enough to support them mentally. A glass or two of good bourbon doesn't hurt, either." </p>
<p>He huffs a laugh at that, and tries to picture being on Grace's end of things. She was listening when her husband almost died; when his whole team was gone in the matter of seconds. And now, barely a year and a half later, it's happening again, in some distant way. </p>
<p>"I can't bring myself to watch the news," Carlos says, leaning back into the bench. He meets her eyes, and finds her nodding along. "I just—I thought that if I don't see it, I won't dwell on it, you know? But then I'm still stuck up here," he gestures vaguely to his own head, before scrubbing a hand down his face as he continues, "imagining the worst case scenarios." </p>
<p>Grace hums, staring down at her coffee. "It's good to remind yourself that they have each other. They aren't alone." </p>
<p>He catches the muscle that jumps in her jaw, and he bites hard on the inside of his cheek. </p>
<p>Carlos thumbs at the ridge of the lid on his coffee. "Does it eventually get easier?" </p>
<p>"Oh, honey," Grace makes a noise in the back of her throat, and curls an arm over his shoulders. "I want to tell you it does. But, I'm not the lying type." </p>
<p>"It's just..." Carlos trails off, and Grace squeezes him closer. </p>
<p>"You love him," Grace guesses, cocking a brow at him. When he nods, wondering for a brief moment if his feelings for TK are just written all over his face in permanent marker, she offers him a small smile. "We need to use that love to be strong for them. And to trust them. And keep ourselves sane so we can be there for them once they come home." </p>
<p>Carlos exhales shakily and takes a sip of coffee, warm sweetness exploding over his tongue in the most comforting, homey way. </p>
<p>"Thank you, by the way," he finally says, after a few moments pass. "I didn't realize how much I needed this." </p>
<p>"Hey, we have to stick together, hm?" Grace gently nudges him with her shoulder. "Those boys of ours need somebody to keep them upright." </p>
<p>"That's an understatement," Carlos says, and Grace grins at him, the two of them sitting back, more relaxed than before, watching as the sun positions itself higher in the sky.</p>
<p>Before today, he wouldn't think that a conversation was all he needed.</p>
<p>But as he and Grace get up and head back to his place, he insists that she stays for a makeshift breakfast with whatever he can find in his kitchen; she helps, and shares stories of Judd that he can <em>definitely </em>use as blackmail if he were that kind of person, and eggs him on to talk about TK. It's the easiest thing in the world, he thinks, talking about his boyfriend, and Grace looks at him fondly and tells him that he reminds her of how she and Judd were, in the beginning. That gets them talking and laughing for hours, sharing stories of their equally big-hearted partners that sometimes act first and think later, until Grace eventually says she should probably get home and change before her next shift. </p>
<p>"I see we have the same coping mechanisms, then," Carlos says, and she rolls her eyes at him. </p>
<p>"Don't tell Judd, he'll start talking about how I'm working myself too hard," Grace grabs her bag, stalling as she gets to the door, looking back at him.</p>
<p>He looks her in the eye as he finally asks: "Are you going to be okay?" </p>
<p>She smiles at him, a true million-watt Grace Ryder smile, and nods. "I will be." </p>
<p>"Me too," Carlos says, when she lifts a brow at him. And, surprising himself, deep down, he realizes that he means it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! comments/kudos are always appreciated &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>